Blog Thoughts & More

This year, I don't need a New Year's resolution. I am in the zone. That healthy place where, in general, you crave exercise more than being lazy, good foods rather than bad, and can turn your nose up to the most deliciously tempting donut! I didn't gain a single pound over the holidays. This might be a first for me in my lifetime!

Yes, I did indulge in some sweets and treats. I had some fudge, cinnamon rolls, rice krispy treats, you name it. But I had a little bit, not a lot, and I continued to exercise through the holidays. I am proud of that! I managed to escape the typical holiday hustle and bustle with my priorities in tact. And, looking back, I truly enjoyed the holidays at home with my husband, just being together.

We skipped gifts this year, for most people we know and for each other. Yes, we had to get a few for his family and they gave us gifts, but had it been our choice we would've skipped that, too. But the year off from giving and just focusing on our love for people close to us and our love for each other really paid off. I think my best memories from this Christmas season will be my Christmas show and making new friends I believe I will have for a lifetime. Being able to sing again and share that gift with others. It fills me up and I enjoyed the commitment- tiring as it was.

And finally, I will remember the time with Bryan. We cooked and decorated together. We stayed in our jammies all day on a few days and danced around the kitchen together, laughing and being silly to my favorite Christmas tunes. Dancing in the kitchen with my husband for Christmas was a very memorable and lovely gift. I will treasure it for years to come.

Now on with 2009! I believe it will be a healthy one for me, and might even be filled with new beginnings, new challenges, and big changes. One can only hope! And I am, indeed, hopeful!

I just can't seem to find any Christmas cheer this year. Either I have given it all away on stage to strangers in the mall watching my Christmas show, or I just can't muster it with all the loss we dealt with this year, but it's not shown up yet and it's just one week until Christmas.

I've decided no gifts. I'm not buying any... okay, not many, but practically any. I bought a small thing of candy for Bryan's great Aunt because I know she loves it and I was in that store. That is it! Nothing else. I've not taken any requests, I've not thought long and hard and tried to get creative or plan ahead to have things ordered and shipped in time for the holiday.

I think I'm just done. I'm naturally a giver, and I usually like giving. So, I don't want to sound like a scrooge or completely rude, but it's not nice to give and give and give and not ever have the feelings you send out reciprocated, the effort and time you put in given back, or even a sincere thank you or kind word about how your thoughtfulness made someone's day come back to you.

So this year I just called it quits. I will spend quality time with loved ones who would like to spend it with me. I will wait for invitations to do so and not send them out and plan ahead as I normally would and do all the inviting myself. I sent my Christmas cards, and that will have to do. And mind you, I don't believe I got one comment from anyone who received one about how nice it was. So maybe next year those will go, too. I  mean, it saves me the postage and the $100 we spent designing our own cards! Everyone is too busy to even say yes, we received it, we stopped for a moment and thought of you and decided to call or write or email. Who knows what happens, where they go. I know the ones I receive go in a nice display by our front door and the photos go up on our fridge! We smile and laugh and think of the people who sent them and often call or email them to make plans to try harder to get together in the new year.

So, I'm done feeling sorry for myself and this very strange feeling Christmas. It's a new era in Christmases for me. We'll see how it all goes. In the meantime, enjoy the lyrics to this amazing Amy Grant Christmas song, "I Need a Silent Night." It's one of my theme songs this Christmas, along with Faith Hill's "Where Are You Christmas?"

I've made the same mistake before
Too many malls, too many stores
December traffic, Christmas rush
It breaks me till I push and shove

Children are crying while mothers are trying
To photograph Santa and sleigh
The shopping and buying and standing forever in line
What can I say?

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

December comes then disappears
Faster and faster every year
Did my own mother keep this pace
Or was the world a different place?

Where people stayed home wishing for snow
Watching three channels on their TV
Look at us now rushing around
Trying to buy Christmas peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

What was it like back there in Bethlehem
With peace on earth, good will toward men?

Every shepherd's out in the field
Keeping watch over their clock by night
And the glory of the Lord shone around them
And they were so afraid

And the angels said fear not for behold
I bring you good news of a great joy that shall be for all people
For unto you is born this day a Savior, who is Christ the Lord
And his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace

I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night
To end this crazy day with a silent night